I know what you mean about "I don't like kids" wouldn't do. Haha. I love kids. It's out of concern for the kids' well being that I wouldn't have one. My friend too. He is amazing with kids; he just wanted to focus on his art.
I also love the idea of raising one when they're older but not dealing with an infant 😀
I should clarify that the men in my life have been obscenely supportive. Of my illness, of anything I needed, of their friends and family, etc. I am not trying to make it sound like I'm anti-men. If anything I'm anti-humans. ha ha ha.
But I'm talking more about 'expectations' for women that men aren't necessarily aware of. As I mentioned, most of the men in my life have been aware of them and have thought about them realistically. And I don't mean just my own exes. Also my male friends, relatives, their friends and so forth.
But I also hear a lot of stories from friends of both genders, about things that their partners don't realize. This thread was about women so I talked about mens' blindspots, but women can have a lot of blindspots too. Like the conundrum of "a man can do nothing right." If he's aggressive or assertive it's wrong; but if he's a wimp it's wrong, etc. I find this generally to be extremely unfair, and also very common.
Also @bera and @faerie Thank you both for the kind words. You both melt my heart too <3 <3
Pursuing my dreams has now become a necessity: No job and no white knight in sight. I think I kinda put myself in this position to sort of trick myself (psychologically) to taking the leaps and risks I’d been afraid of taking for decades.
And also, this is ironically exactly what will attract the right person to you. If you put your own energy and dreams out into the world, then more of your dreams will be attracted to you. 🙂
I can prove it!
One of the first things @Ivory ever said to me -- on the forum where we met -- was that he checked out my music in my signature and it melted his heart. He said he could feel my songs in his body and he related to them. I felt like my soul had been seen and my purpose was fulfilled. By putting my own dreams out into the world, I attracted my soulmate. <3
@fae – I also didn’t meet that guy yet ! Last year I didn’t even look for him. I felt I was too busy with everything to also find enough time for a relationship but I can see this will probably change sooner or later. I can live alone easily, I almost never feel sad or lonely. But I feel this huge potential for love and at times I think it’s not consumed completely on my friends, family and cat. So, I feel good but there is this nagging thought that I could do so much more and that maybe it is somehow my duty to express everything I can.
@bera, I know what you mean. I've never 'looked', until the last coupla months to my birthday last yeah, lol. Nov-Dec-Jan. Talk about a mid life crisis landing on your head without warning, in one fell swoop, ha ha! I suddenly needed to have a child--NOW! I even realized last month, looking back on this period that it wasn't so much the hubby as the baby that was driving me crazy. I wanted the hubby because I needed the baby.
So this extreme hermit and recluse started deliberately attending some events frequented by people of my age or slightly older who attend them, most of whom are single professionals. My lesson after it all? Never date when your desperately need a baby, IMMEDIATELY! LOL. You'll act all out of character in so many situations (even good ones!) that you'll be busy self-sabotaging the whole time.
Funnily enough it was just after my birthday, when this mindset was at its worst, that I realized the whole thing had been triggered by my birthday, lol! I then relaxed and turned the whole thing over to the divine and stopped going to things I didn't want to go to. Now I go only for things I'm interested in only, (which are very few) believing that the right person, whoever they are, can find me anywhere, even the internet (as @animal's unreal story keeps reminding us!).
I also realized that if I don't have a baby, I'll be sad, yes, but then I'll be ok. I'll deal with it and move on. I can always adopt, as you said.
Thank goodness this happened before the last guy I met who I could see I didn't like at all. (Interesting how the ones who pursue hardest are either the ones you really aren't attracted to in the least or they are the ones wanting hookups. O well!) I turned him down but I wonder if I would've turned him down in early Jan when I was seeing babies everywhere and desperately praying to saint after saint to give me a baby ASAP, ha ha ha!!! 🙂
this is ironically exactly what will attract the right person to you. If you put your own energy and dreams out into the world, then more of your dreams will be attracted to you. ......I can prove it!
One of the first things @ivory ever said to me — on the forum where we met — was that he checked out my music in my signature and it melted his heart. He said he could feel my songs in his body and he related to them. I felt like my soul had been seen and my purpose was fulfilled. By putting my own dreams out into the world, I attracted my soulmate. <3
Animal, yours is one of those stories I never forget once I've heard it. It's so unreal! It's so magical, I'm tempted to think it can't be "the rule", it must be something I shouldn't expect can just happen to me; but then I'm learning to ignore that inner naysayer these days and saying, "Hey, how do you know it can't happen for us too? Shut up already." I hope you're right! In any case, I've throwing my whole heart and soul into living my 'unlived life', and that brings its own excitement, joy, nerve-wrecking doubt, psychological deep dives--what a roller coaster! Ha ha. If at the end of it there's a beautiful dream like this (the guy who's just right for me) I'll tell that story till the day I can't talk no more.
So, I don't know much about tarot, but while exploring those cards and symbols in the past few days, I discovered the Empress and immediately was reminded of this discussion I had with @bera ala Fi archetypal energy in the Madonna, Guan Yin, and Metta practice. I think the Empress belongs here too, like Tefiti in Moanna.
I love that churches organize such events where people can pray and thank God for everything. Religion keeps us alive because without trust in something, we are lost as a nation. Not so long ago, I read on https://firstchurchlove.com an article about the beginning of humanity, and I found many new and exciting things for me. If you are interested, check it out by yourself. I am sure you will find many new exciting things there.