Hi there everyone
I've noticed something. So i am SeFi I-I- as you can tell from my description. And on my vultology report the persistence effect seems quite prevalent. I've noticed that I can talk for a really long time about pressing concerns, issues or worries in my life without really detaching from them, but then when someone else does the same thing I will try to listen but eventually tell that person to find a solution to that problem.
Would you say the persistence effect is something positive or negative. Are there ways for me to deal with my problems in a better way and is the persistence effect more a defensive strategy or coping mechanism, and how do I use it more constructively.
Oh, interesting !
Can you post the video? Or give some examples of how it manifested?
I am very bad at spotting persistence effect in myself, though I have the weird feeling it's there, haha !
My main problem is noise. God, I hate noise. I have extremely noisy coworkers and a pretty stressful work environment, the phones are always ringing, people keep coming in and going out of the office, someone is always either laughing or fighting with someone else on the phone or watching dumb Tik Tok videos and showing them to the others or receiving food or clothes or make up she ordered online or asking the others what she should order online or crying because she had a fight with her boyfriend etc. We are 6 women, imagine that ! 3 of us are shopaholics, 2 of the girls have constant dramas with their boyfriends, two or 3 of them are always preparing for a party, event, beauty procedure or trip...it's complete CHAOS, no kidding. :))) There are also about a dozen different coworkers and collaborators who always come in, ask for documents, have emergencies to be solved, as well as personal problems.
Now I could escape with headphones on but these people also ask me questions every 5 minutes and expect me to pay attention to their conversations, so that's not an ideal solution either. :)))
Another thing that bothers me a lot are itchy fabrics. Shopping tends to make me mad because office clothes for women are really not made to last or to even make sense anymore. Either there is an itchy fabric somewhere or there is a useless transparent part (I am going to work, not to a bar, do I really need to spend money on 5 layers to make this ONE OUTFIT look decent??) or the clothes have complicated ways of being taken on and off or...there are pencil skirts. :/ Which I just don't understand. Can women walk while wearing those?
Since I can't stand 80% of women's office clothes and I need to wear office clothes, I only buy uncomplicated knee length dresses in different colors and with small variations in design. And then I don't think of them while wearing them. But in the past, when I was still trying out different styles, I sometimes fell in the trap of buying absurd clothes and for sure they made me feel irritated or insecure the entire day, which lead also to my focus shifting from work to the clothes and back to work.
I think the best way to handle it is to get rid of the negative stimuli when it's possible or at least to try to minimize them or take distance from them. When you really, really can't do that, like my case with the atmosphere at work, some relaxing techniques done right after spending time with the stressful stimulant can help a lot. For example meditation, relaxing music, essential oils 🙂 Just knowing you are taking care of yourself greatly improves your mood and makes you more resilient when you encounter the triggers again. 🙂
Wow I think you pretty much summed up hyper stimulation in a person's environment, and that is actually also something I used to struggle with, but I'm getting better at it. I am easily startled by popping balloons or toasters, I can't stand it when people speak extremely loudly in a crowded area or on their phone on the subway (right next to me I might add), crowds are also something I dislike especially when I lived in China at times it was too much to bear, and I also can't deal with people who chew their food loudly, and there were people spitting in the street in China oh my gosh. Not saying China is bad, but it has a lot of sensory overload.
I also relate to the clothing, I am really picky when it comes to buying clothing myself, I won't just buy anything it has to feel right in terms of texture, colour, size and overall look and feel. Problem is its hard to satisfy my taste in most clothing shops, men's clothes can be so banal.
In terms of the example you asked, I had an argument with a stranger on facebook. I'm into Korean pop music, and this person posted that BTS has the most toxic fans. Instead of showing concern or worry, this person seemed to laugh at this fact. I on the other hand took this extremely seriously, because some of those idols receive death threats and have been given glue and stuff to drink. So I raised a concern. Immediately this person told me I was speaking nonsense and that I was being childish. The nerve she had was unbelievable. I usually find it hard to let go of this and move on, so I retorted back that it seemed like she was happy about the death threats. The whole thing then became a misunderstanding and it was like a power struggle. I may have told her she needs to watch her mouth and be more polite, but she just kept on repeating the same thing, telling me I am speaking nonsense and being childish, which is silly to say.
I told my mother about this, but she just told me to get over it, which is the opposite of what I want to hear. I tend to keep talking about arguments like these consistently, which I personally think relates to the persistence effect because I take these arguments to heart and I am really serious and affected by negative events. I have read somewhere that Se users are more seriously affected by matters than Ne users, who can change their perspective more easily.
I then dragged on with the matter, trying to make the group on which I posted aware that we should not argue like this and try to be more understanding of each others stories. But then she took it personally and said the very same argument telling me I am speaking nonsense, that I am stupid and selfish, and that I shouldn't have accused her of being happy about the death threats.
Haha long story short, I spoke to some other members and they made me feel better, because I was deeply hurt by this. I really hate it when people on facebook are so extremely rude for no apparent reason, it hurts even more than real life interaction almost. I eventually deleted the post and decided to drop the matter. It helps me to talk about it with someone, even if I talk about it consistently I need to verbally process what happened.
I even had a vision today, at first it seemed really strange, but now I've come to realize it signifies this conflict I had with this facebook person and the persistence effect (or vicious cycle of conflict) I experienced.
So I had a really fascinating dream, it seemed almost esoteric
I saw some dark landscape, and then I saw blue water in front of it. I saw the reflection of a white stag in the water before seeing the white stag itself.
Now the white stag had white antlers, and yellow lightning came from both ends of the antlers and met in the middle. In the middle of the lightning I saw the moon. Then encircling the one moon, I saw the various phases of the moon surrounding this one moon.
As I came closer to this deer, it suddenly regurgitated another moon into my hand. As I took the moon and pulled it towards myself, I absorbed it and the various phases of the moon encircled my head. I ended up aging rapidly, growing extremely old until I was a skeleton. However it seems that I reincarnated and became a baby and that is where my vision ended.
The white stag is the person who offended me on facebook. They were white (white stag) because they were self-righteous and felt justified in what they said. Yet the lightning could signify how hurtful they really are.
The moon and its phases signify the meanness and anger this person seemed to have, they seem to easily take offense. The moon and its phases also seems to relate to the persistence effect, at least on an emotional level.
The white stag spitting out the moon signifies the hurtful things the person said on Facebook.
Me eating the moon means I am taking offense and allowing that person to hurt me, and I couldn’t let it go and let it eat away at me. This is another example of the persistence effect, or a process akin to the persistence effect because I find it hard to detach from the conflict that took place.
My untimely aging and death signifies how much that grudge killed me inside (she hurt my feelings).
My rebirth could signify the end of the cycle, as well as the person calling me childish. Or it could signify me dying to my need to be right and letting go of the grudge. It could also signify the end of the persistence effect.
I hope its not coming across in the wrong way that I am conflating these things too much with the persistence effect, but it makes the most sense to me based on what I actually experienced earlier in the day.