More About Me

[Amy Marie]

Hello! 🙂 Someone told me that with my video in the database, there was a quote saying that hopefully I would share a list of traits I wrote out about myself. Also, since it might be helpful information, I wanted to point out that in another personality system I was recently typed in (Cognitive Personality Theory), the results said that a lot of the symbolism I used while answering the questions was highly Fi-Si (concrete internal perception of my Fi inner world) in nature, mostly in relation to Te-Ne abstract external perception. This system, like Cognitive Type, had me as an Fi-dominant. Though this typing happened over an e-mail correspondence, my answers to the questions were very real. I've added a few of them below, along with the original list of traits I wrote about myself! I hope someone finds this all useful! As a bonus, here is the link to my "What's My Type Questionnaire" response on PersonalityCafe: https://www.personalitycafe.com/threads/whats-my-type-questionnaire-response.1327075/
-I can have a hard time taking criticism because everything I produce (poems, journal entries, art, school work, and so on) feels like an extension of myself and the way my inner world works, along with its strengths and weaknesses.
-I love emotional privacy and freedom combined (or at least getting to choose what to share). Having someone try to force emotional intimacy with me makes about as much sense as someone try to force physical intimacy with me. The thought of being outwardly touchy-feely or crying around others truly baffles me. If I saw someone else being outwardly emotionally vulnerable in public, in a way, it would seem like an “unwelcome guest” has suddenly entered and put a puzzle down in front of me. I understand emotion, just not always externally and socially expressed emotion.
-I created a scrapbook of watercolor paintings called "The Loves of My Life," dedicated to some of my values, with a word such as "introspection" or "creativity" literally painted into each image. Yet it's still not an exhaustive list of everything I value. My goal is to work each word into the title of a different collection of my poems.
-I have a soft spot for fictional characters who stay true to themselves and their morals.
-I'm a Christian yet sometimes overthink whether I'm truly a good one.
-I have a special love for holiday traditions and feel nostalgic for times like Christmas during childhood.
-I sometimes replay certain past hurts (or even imagine hypothetical future hurts) in my mind.
-I write personification poems. In fact, it can be as if each object is in some sort of dormant state and the writer's job is to wake it up and give it some sort of life. I've written about multiple things like a decoration, a tidal pool, a firework, what might occur on February 30, and more.
-I love psychology and personality theory, but feel I would never make it as a therapist because I'm so focused on how I feel about things personally. One of my favorite phrases is "But that's wrong..."
-I can feel selfish for not being able to give more to people in need.
-I'm not crazy about being in leadership positions and wouldn't like to give out hurtful criticism.
-I love people, but need plenty of alone time to get lost in my thoughts and interests.
-I decorate homemade cards for my parents on their birthdays.
-I spent my whole childhood semi-secretly pretending to be from some other world I made up.
I had imaginary friends in it, some of which were fictional characters. I even made up several words as a little bit of a “language” for it. Looking back, maybe it was a reflection of how I felt, but in a good way.
-I love animals, especially cats.
-I wish I could spend a different day as each of the personality types just to gain an even deeper appreciation for how they see the world differently.
-I keep certain possessions from my childhood, especially dolls I used to play "character games." They're special to me because they were used in the imaginary world I made up for myself.
-I sometimes think of “what ifs” like “Wouldn't it be weird if I was sitting in my hot tub in the yard at night and an animal came up, acquired the ability to talk, and started saying something profound to me with a serious expression on its face...only to run back off into the woods never to be seen again” or “It would be weird if the patterns on pillows and wall papers and things like that were other worlds that one could dive into.” Also, “What if for some odd reason you had no idea that seeing the seasons change was normal and you were used to summer. I wonder how someone would react to seeing fall begin. Or, same thing for day turning to night if for some reason your memory was cleared of the fact that night was a normal thing...” These are sort of like random underdeveloped ideas for writing.
-This is somewhat of a poetic exaggeration, but it's almost as if I'm on a symbolic tightrope. On one hand, every bit of negative feedback I've gotten, every misunderstanding I've been through, and every mistake I've made are pulling me down. On the other hand, just being unique like everyone else is more than enough to lift me up and have me keep on going. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Answers to Questions...
1) I would get pretty distracted and frustrated (a different type of frustration than a shade of irritation I sometimes feel) if it's noisy stimuli like people talking around me when I'm trying to work on something. If I happen to be sharing an idea for something like a creative writing project, I would be curious to hear their ideas and input too. If I'm focusing on how I feel about things or something personally meaningful, I can always do it.
2) I mostly enjoy taking everything in as a whole if I'm calmly taking a walk. Sunflowers nearby might remind me of my grandparents' house from when I was a kid and make me wish I could go back...or they might make me think of Heaven (since my grandmother was Catholic) or liking a guy who gives the flowers to me or some other girl or the possibility of rain on them. The feeling of warmth and green grass in general might happily remind me of a field day in elementary school and how exciting the end of the school year was. My other grandparents' house had a grandfather clock, so I like to associate the chiming sound with older people, fancy plates, a blueish rug, or something serious and convergent like wisdom. If something unusual happens like hearing a siren, it gets my attention because I imagine somebody suffering somewhere and their frantic family or friends trying to help. I would be anxious myself in that situation for sure. In some odd cases, loud noises might almost make me think of someone yelling at me. Overall, I definitely prefer to spend time alone to reenergize though.
3) What an interesting question. (My internal monologue is) somewhat essay-like along with some imagery and past associations now that you mention it. If "essay" means long and organized, it probably wouldn't be quite the right word. If "essay" means thinking in words, then yes, there's a good bit of essay in the mix.
4) I love this question. My emotional state is more like a little flame or a little internal choir encased in walls...fluctuating on its own, mostly independently of the external emotional/social environment. To be honest, I don't quite understand when people need to "talk about" their emotions. If I ever did see someone being openly emotional and touchy-feely, it might feel somewhat like an unwelcome guest came in a put a puzzle down in front of me, not because I don't understand emotion, but because I don't understand socially expressed emotion. I can certainly relate to emotion though. There are different types of happiness, fear, and aggravation. The satisfaction I feel after getting positive feedback sets in like a more muted and general happiness than the pointed and bubbly bliss I silently feel when enjoying keeping my own secrets 🙂
Hypothetically, if I ever went to Mars (not that I ever would), I would feel deeply sentimental in a dark way about leaving the Earth...a combination of nostalgia, pretty dark blue sadness, and dark red regret. I would be sitting there thinking about everything I missed about the Earth...my family, the animals, the plant life, and everything. In a completely different situation, if I found out a close family member died, I would become very shakily anxious at first and possibly get sick or faint. In that case it would be nice if I could slip beneath the cracks in the stones in the front yard of my place and into some secret room...maybe even with some sort of breathable water and some floating plants growing in it. If instead I found out family members were coming to visit me or if I saw someone I haven't seen in a while, I might feel a calmer sort of comfort like a slightly warm blanket. 🙂

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