Journey of self-discovery

[Rickus]

So recently I've begun to doubt CT because my brother says it doesn't take self-report into consideration, since his MBTI type is ESTJ (TeSi) but his cognitive type is SeTi. This made me question my CT type of SeFi and I read a description of NeFi and SeFi on Jungian Cognitive Function Analysis. It paints a picture of NeFi types as having a lot more ideas and being focused on the possibilities, being more creative, forward-thinking etc. SeFi on the other hand seems to focus more on the value of first impressions. It seeks an endless variety of sensory experiences and can come across as hedonistic. It also looks at body language and emphasises presentation and style. Both types seek validation from an audience and what it wants to see, hear and feel.

I found myself stuck between these two, seeing myself in both. Perhaps I fetishize Intuition a lot because I have a bias towards the description thereof as being more imaginative and abstract. But I know Auburn says Sensing is not limited to the concrete world, as all humans can think abstractly. So I think this caused quite a lot of confusion for me. I think my OCD is causing me to question my type excessively.

I also did some cognitive functions tests, and they all seem to say I am strongest in Introverted Feeling and Extroverted Intuition.

But when I read the Types Submerged and it spoke about Se having catastrophic and fatalistic thinking, I felt like this represented my intrusive thoughts very well. It may just be a little glimmer in the sand, but if it describes my state of consciousness better than it is probably true. I don't necessarily relate to falling prey to addiction, but I guess I do seek stimulating experiences a lot.

What I also don't agree with concerning Se Vultology is that Se types don't do a lot of imagining. I find this to not be true in my case, as I tend to imagine a lot. But the question is, how does one go about defining imagining? Is seeing a visual image of something in your mind an indication that you are more intuitive, or does it have to be a caricature or some warped, unrealistic creature to be deemed Ne?

Like for example I tend to see visual images in my mind of bad things happening, like an eagle's talons crushing my skull and piercing my eyes, or I will daydream and imagine the car I drove in roll over and explode, while being lifted up by this eagle. The events may seem fantastical, but they also seem very graphic. Could this be polar Ni?

I really hope someone can help me make sense of this, as I would love some clarity and peace of mind about it.

Regards

Rickus

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