At odds with my gender identity

[Rickus]

I think since I was young I was always different from other boys. I was afraid to do daring, risky things that other boys wouldn't even flinch at. My parents even thought there was something wrong with me and took me to psychologists. While I do have a more gentle voice than most guys, and am more emotionally open (being Seelie), I don't understand why I am expected to act rough, tough and overtly masculine to be successful in life. As a teacher, I have learners who judge me for having a "feminine" voice and they don't show me any respect at all, yet they will show female teachers respect, which doesn't make sense. Its so unfair and has turned my life into a living hell. Anyways I just felt like venting.

[Alice]

I'm sure this goes without saying, but gender identity, cultural expectations, and societal expectations of gender roles are all disparate and very complicated things. They can be very frustrating to interact with, and on the whole, very confusing to find our place in.

It takes some of us an entire lifetime to come to terms with ourselves and each other - but somehow for others they seem comfortable and accepted from very early on. It is especially challenging to fall outside the norms, even a little. And for those unable to compromise who they are for societal comfort, it can feel like it's impossible.

Again, I'm sure it goes without saying, but there is nothing wrong in being yourself, and in falling outside our strict cultural norms. People will sometimes take notice, and unfortunately some of them will react negatively, but I guarantee you there are other people taking notice and admiring you for it internally. You may have even inspired people in your authenticity! That is how it usually goes when societal expectations are broken.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you these things you already probably know, and that I understand the difficulty. I've navigated gender and expectation my whole life, and I get how absolutely impossible it can feel.

I hope you have a good day, and that my words may help. Being yourself helps everyone! Even if not everyone knows it 🙂

[Rickus]

@alice

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your encouraging words and I absolutely agree, being your authentic self is key!

[Author]

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