Reply To: How to develop to IIII?

[LadyNerdsky]

I get the feeling that people grossly underestimate the influence of their primary caregivers. The first 10-or-so years of childhood is cementing a basis of self-concept and belief system.

This seems like a really important factor influencing development too, @Pine. I really like what you have to say here about the consequences of development being stifled and repressed due to explicit/implicit disapproval from caregivers. And probably ones who have a different set of lead and aux functions than you.
I think the important people around me growing up were very Si heavy. Somewhere I got the message that my Ne side was not okay or normal. I saw signs of Ne coming into consciousness around the age of 25, and it hit me hard at 30. And I think what kicked it up there was mental health issues, I think partly from living a "double-life" and hiding and repressing Ne-stuff from public expression. And also finding public-figure role models (mostly Ne-comedians) who taught me that it's okay to think and act that way. I remember as I changed, I felt a lot of push-back from the people who "knew" me.
The most hurtful comment came from a former housemate I lived with for 5 years (not sure of her CT, but she's a stereotypical ESTJ to paint that picture) who said to my face, "why are you always trying to be weird?", in response to something I was doing automatically and unconsciously. It just was who I was. And who I was was NOT okay, in her eyes. I felt so suffocated by everyone's preconceived notions of who I was while trying to change, that it was part of the reason I tossed my job, left behind that housemate, that city, that whole country and lived abroad for a few years. There's nothing like rapid-changing cities, jobs, people and experiences to drag Ne out in a safe and supported way. Getting that second function conscious somewhat "late" in life felt like a violent re-birth, especially in the face of childhood opposition and judgement.