Reply To: NeFi's with Social Anxiety

[Bera]

@xxilluminisxx

 Who’s your favorite character? I mean, I think it’s THAT person who… y’know *wink wink*.

Yes, I think we are talking about the same person. 🙂 Better not to write any names in this context. Or initials. :))
But I actually liked both, I just personally would not have used Death Note to kill criminals. I didn't like that. I honestly would have probably used it to kill people like Hitler and kept it hidden the rest of the time so that no one could use it for another purpose than to kill powerful leaders who have a strong negative influence on humanity as a whole. I would have also killed people who committed crimes against the environment....anything to save the world, I mean. :))
I felt Light used it in a wrong way, he could have reshaped history and what did he do?? Kill off some criminals?!? Jeez.

I bet your past self finds it courageous that you can now get your point across to people.

Yes, totally ! I am very proud of myself because of this; it is quite an accomplishment for someone like me. 😉

What was it like being in work situations for the first time? Was it scary at first?

I am sorry to tell you this, because it is not encouraging at all but yes, it was terrifying. My first job was weirdly acceptable but the second one was horrible. My coworkers were mean to me, work itself was hard and exceeded what I knew at that time and I had many weekends in which instead of having fun I stayed home, worrying about how to keep that job and how to build better work relationships with my colleagues. 🙁
Now with my current job - my boss is more manageable. I have some assets that other coworkers don't and I am in a quite secure position. It is a good place to experiment with different corporate scenarios and to learn stuff about many different fields of activity. Everything is interwined, the legal issues with the commercial, financial and technical ones. You can't completely separate them and you get to learn about all of them at the same time. <3
I heard that if something feels scary but it still is necessary for your evolution, the best approach is to do it but to split it in manageable parts and do them one after the other, taking small steps, one at a time.
So, for example, if you are afraid of speaking in public, you can start with asking questions in class or later in office meetings. When this feels natural, you can start elaborating on those questions or answering someone else's questions. Again, when this feels safe, you can do a small informal talk in front of colleagues. After that, a longer and more complex talk. And then a small presentation etc. It is much better than direct exposure to a one hour presentation in front of 200 people. 🙂

I think it’ll get better, though one week before, my eyes started watering like a sprinkler while being at a sleepover knowing only one person (it was scary as heeeccckkkk especially when I think attention was on me). Thus, I tried to slip away as often as I could (I wish I didn’t though because I felt I was being a bit rude) to the one place I always go to when I felt uncomfortable: the bathroom. Hmmm… maybe I should be more proactive. :p

It's ok, it's completely normal. I am 32 and I still feel very shy sometimes too. With strangers I usually manage to build a connection if I put in some effort. But there are certain people that just make me feel shy by their simple presence, no matter if we talked before or not. And I tend to keep interactions with them minimal. And get blocked when talking to them. Like literally I can't think of anything to say or any way to react. And when I say something, it's so ridiculously absurd, as if I was retarded. :)))
So, I get that. I'm not sure what to do...ok, strangers. Look for one of them that looks safe and start an easy conversation about something trivial. Probably his friends will be attracted to the conversation and you will soon start to get along with everyone. Now...you also can't expect wonders, this gets better in time. But I think a good approach is to focus on one of them, not on all, because facing a lot of strangers is overwhelming. And to think of something easy to talk about. Imagine they might feel the exact same way you do ! Maybe they would love to talk to you but don't know what to say. 🙂