I just wanted to share a post I made in a discord server that is not associated with CT, and while it may not perfectly fit what others imagine when they come to this topic, I hope it will generate some conversation nonetheless. For some context, it was written as response to a friend of mine who is frequently experiencing tense and unpleasant interactions with her boyfriend's step mother. Without further ado, here's a copy+paste of my original message:

Just to open this up at the get-go, the alcohol and coffee mix I was chugging has its grip in deep, and I am about to just let myself go. Prepare for THE TEXT WALL.
In these sorts of situations, the ones where we feel as if we are being treated unfairly by others and deserve better treatment, the first thing I notice is that our typical response is to shut down. By shutting down I mean that we refuse to give our "adversary" the same grace and mercy we give ourselves. We also begin to refuse to accept that the other person is just as nuanced and complex as we ourselves are.
That's not to say that we should excuse all of that other person's negative behavior, for we certainly should not do that; however, the problem is that genuine love for our fellow man is reduced to nothing when we take this adversarial and defensive posture.
We all ought to be self-aware enough to realize that we are beyond capable of being a real shit in someone else's life, yet we are able to so easily forgive ourselves and justify our behavior because "I'm going through a lot" or "They treated me poorly, and I needed to react this way." Or some other variation of those thoughts are typically how we learn to live with our own damaging behaviors.
BUT the moment someone else begins to be a shit from our perspective, we find all the reason in the world to condemn them.
The response is completely natural, and it can be exceptionally effective at removing the negative effects of said shit from your life; however, as I said above, this approach eliminates our inclination towards loving actions and responses. I'll just say it: removing love from ourselves is key to truly and completely destroying ourselves. Love is not on a spectrum. There is no middle ground. We are the kind of creatures that love or hate. We can do both imperfectly, which is what creates the perceived middle ground, but we are either loving others or hating others in some capacity. When we remove our ability to love another person, we begin to hate them.
I think the noblest path is the same one that leads towards the highest level of human development and completion, and that is love.
By that same merit, love is the most difficult path to take in nearly every situation; however, it is the most rewarding for all parties. Finding a way to deny our own sense of being owed some special treatment and then actively deciding that everyone around us deserves special treatment from us is the pinnacle of love. That is why I would say in a situation like this the best thing you, or anyone, could do is find a way to radically humanize this woman. Realize that she is a nuanced creature, just as much so as you are, and take every opportunity to understand her, show respect, and take her seriously by looking within for where you may be in need of some transformation to overcome the tension.
Again, that's not saying "bend over and take whatever this lady gives." What I am saying is that there exists a reasonable level of sacrifice, an acceptable level of self-denial and inconvenience we can patiently take on in order to begin working through the tension in this relationship. That takes a lot of time, and it takes a lot of honesty, both towards the other person and ourselves. There will be moments of direct confrontation, but not fueled by some desire to conform them to our will, to force them to stop inconveniencing us. It should be fueled by the earnest desire to see that person be transformed into the best version of themselves that they can become.
What I outlined, I would argue, is the path towards mutual transmutation into the highest form of man, and it ought to be encouraged in all of our interactions.