Reply To: [Fi-lead/Aux] What is your relationship with emotions/empathy vs logic/strategy?

[Septimus Rosa Chalier]

Good topic!
In my experience, unseelie Fi feels like a strange mixture of (let’s formulate it that way) "T" and "F". At first, I usually have a strong feeling about something, a feeling that calls for a more in-depth study. Then, when I start diving into the topic, factual evidences often show me that the truth is more complex, that there are some inconsistencies or shady parts I can’t be satisfied with. So, I put this feeling on hold - so to speak - and force myself to "dig the truth out". It’s a painful process (this "epoche" is not a peaceful one), and going through that, I can experience a physical discomfort, in the form of contracted chest and stomach. (Some other times, i will start reasoning and a feeling will rise, informing me that "something is drying off", that I’m losing touch with my visceral being...)
I think that’s important to point out that what I originally felt is never really dumped off, but is refined in a way that can release the physical (and mental) tension, finding its right unfolding, its right conclusion.
In other words, I think my gut reaction has to be shaped by reasoning to reach some kind of truth in the universal realm. Abstraction is necessary to reach that broader view and then go back to the original feeling, now "purified" or "shaped".
The forging of a sword could be used as a metaphor to describe this refinement process. At the beginning, you have the raw material, a feeling about something. This is a basis. Not the sword itself, but its essential component. And this raw material has to be melted down and hammered to acquire a shape. That’s the mental processing, that comes with a search for factual evidence, for more occurrences (to reach a broader point of view), and logical reasoning to get a solid theoretical structure.
I’ve said at the beginning that unseelie Fi seemed like a mixture of "T"+"F". But i meant "T" as it is usually described in the mbti circles. In fact, the said "T" qualities of my Fi, are seemingly Ji qualities, according to CT theory.
Fi, at its core, is supposed to be an "architectural" (Ji) function, like Ti. If the difference really is a connection to the emotional register, then I would describe emotion, from the point of view of (unseelie) Fi, as a visceral information that needs to be peeled or shaped to get to what could be considered as a ‘truth’ (yeah, I mean… I won’t talk about dialectic here...).
Without this refinement process, the conclusions feel incomplete or erroneous - "misplaced", I’d say - even if never completely wrong...
The difference between Fi seelie and Fi unseelie, could be the trust (seelie)/distrust (unseelie) of the primary visceral reaction/emotion (at an epistemic level) as well as a receptive (seelie) or a prescriptive (unseelie) attitude towards things and people (at an ethical, interpersonal level), and a opened (seelie) / shielded (unseelie) dichotomy concerning the general attitude towards the world.
Described in a "Positive/Negative" form, maybe it could be sum up as openness/defenselessness, faith/gullibility, kindness/deference on one side (seelie), VS self-protectiveness/guardedness, caution/distrust, and spirit of protest/antagonism on the other side (unseelie).
It seems seelie people have trouble setting boundaries and unseelie people have trouble opening the fence.
Seelie people have a tendency to merge with/ lose themselves in/ the outer world, whereas unseelie people have a tendency to block their sensitivity to/ alienate themselves from/ the outer world. Both strategies are useful, depending on the situation. Both ends of the spectrum are destructive in their own way too.
It’s a matter of control over the valve separating the inner and outer world. When and where do you need to set boundaries? When and where do you need to let the door open?
Unseelie people shut the valve down quickly, sometimes right after the first input and the first repulsive reaction, being on their guard, pushing away easily. Sometimes too soon, often judging too harshly, sometimes rightfully so. Seelie people let the valve open, sometimes for too long, often judging too kindly, sometimes rightfully so…
At an epistemic level, what is felt by unseelie Fi is probably less taken for granted, I guess, but also too readily redirected to (and extinguished by) the mind.
Unseelie Fis may have a tendency to lost the raw material, to block their feelings instead of refining them (therefore losing the truth enclosed in them), whereas seelie Fis may have a tendency to blindly trust their feelings and not refining them enough (because they are frightened to lose the truth enclosed in them during that process).
That said, some of the hypothetical qualities and processes I’m loosely describing in this post could be "axis attributes", and therefore not be solely related to Fi’s attitudes...
I may have drifted away from the initial topic at some point...