Reply To: Seelie & Adaptive vs. Unseelie & Directive: Is it Related to Conflict Avoidance?

Index Forums Cognitive Functions Seelie & Adaptive vs. Unseelie & Directive: Is it Related to Conflict Avoidance? Reply To: Seelie & Adaptive vs. Unseelie & Directive: Is it Related to Conflict Avoidance?

Auburn
Keymaster
  • Type: TiNe
  • Development: l--l
  • Attitude: Adaptive

Finally coming around to this thread.

I’ve heard it said that Seelie Fi people are uncomfortable with conflict. Some people defended my typing as Unseelie because I’m comfortable with conflict and have strong boundaries. I accepted this at first. I’m heavily 8w7 fixed, and all my life I’ve been confrontational, forward energy.

Yes, I think this is the appropriate definition. But I’ll address your alternative points below.

The problem is, there’s some confusion around “Unseelie” because I’m also very open-hearted, wounded and emotion-spilling. (…)
When I’m hurt, I can’t hide it. When I’m angry or upset, I can’t hide it. I can be kind and thoughtful and not say mean words, but the sentiment in my heart is splat on my face, no filter, whether I like it or not.

I want to explore the note of classifying Seelie vs Unseelie based on:

  • Being unable to hide emotions
  • Being open/explicit about experiences
  • Being empathic
  • Having no filter

Examining this perspective from the point of view of the database, we see that all the unseelie NeFi’s and SeFi’s are also prone to over-sharing, being explicitly emotional and without a filter. I think this is more related to being Fi — as Fi has emotional radiation in all cases — and especially PeFi’s, as @bera recently made note. But to source a very relevant note from this thread: https://cognitivetype.boards.net/post/20920/thread (a rough statistical analysis of our unseelie Delta NFs)

Unseelie Fi Reviser Females

“Just as with the unseelie female conductors, there’s a forthrightness to them, an almost disarming lack of secrecy and willingness to broadcast one’s life to the world. Topics touched generally have no bounds, and can include sex, periods, girlfriend/boyfriend issues, work, making money, drinking, life dreams, emotional problems, life disappointments and anything else. When Fi is highly individual it cares little for modesty which is a type of concealment of the authentic self. Being rather filter-less, this humanness is no doubt part of what attracts attention and an audience. But it’s also the sort of revelation that off-beat Fi’s seem to be more disposed to.”


From what I’ve seen this also applies to Te-leads, who are equally filter-less, and this can be in an emotional sense too. Given this trend, I’m inclined to say I think being filter-less is not exclusive to seelie.

Now as for “empathy”, this is a bit harder to define. Many unseelie people “care” a whole lot, and are even lifetime Fi advocates. But from what I’ve seen, being unseelie is not mutually exclusive with empathy — any more than being Directive (like Oprah/MLK Jr/Peterson) makes one uncaring. I think directive/unseelie people care a great deal, but morso take the offensive.

The opposite of caring (i.e. uncaring) is the abiotic orientation, not directive/unseelie. The dark side of “F” is still very much invested in the ethical question, very much involved in the subject of the heart, and how we do or don’t relate to one another, or to the human experience.

At first unseelie was conflated with high-Te, and therefore also an abiotic tendency. The TeSi CEO tycoons and businessmen seemed calloused and uncaring. But having decoupled seelie/unseelie from Te in the process of building the development levels series, it turns out this is not the case.

So if directive/unseelie can care a whole deal, and PeFi’s can pour their hearts out without a filter too, what does that leave?

I think the fundamental difference between directive/unseelie and seelie/unseelie is the question of how the ethical function is handled. It’s an ethical question. In Fe, directivity means being willing and capable to assert and be aggressive for the sake of doing what is right. Directive Fe is actually noble, in that it can defend against wrongdoings, protect the weak, and also fortify them. Unseelie Fi is also the same; it speaks out against injustices, gets worked out (haughty) about ethical violations — and is willing to be assertive in order to be just.

Seelie/Adaptive — as ethical strategies — have their own version of nobility. For example the “turn the other cheek” ethic, Good-Samaritanism, prioritizing getting along, giving benefit of doubt, being gentle and harmonious. These are all precious attributes too.

Identifying Seelie/Adaptive vs Unseelie/Directive via Struggles

I’ve thought for a while that a good way to psychologically identify the difference may be to ask a person what they struggle with the most.

Seelie/Adaptive

  • Do you struggle to speak up?
  • Are you prone to be brushed under-foot?
  • Do you martyr yourself?
  • Is your first reaction to injustice to be patient and forgiving?

Unseelie/Directive

  • Do you come off too strong sometimes?
  • Do people think you’re abrasive when you’re just being honest/frank?
  • Is your first reaction to injustice to call it out?
  • Do you hold people accountable?

I think this is the right way to frame the dichotomy, because we’re dealing with two approaches to handling ethics. Neither is more right than it’s counterpart, and in a healthy person, both ought to be present in a fair balance. But if I had to parse out the two approaches –and epitomize them– I would describe them as:

  • Adaptive/Seelie (Mercy)
  • Directive/Unseelie (Justice)
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by Auburn.

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