- Type: NeFi
- Development: ll--
- Attitude: Seelie
To be clear, this post is about me, as an example of a SeFi III- , and I wonder if this is common among PeFi III. I’d really like to find out if this applies to @shelley-lorraine for instance.
@Animal, sorry I missed this tag earlier. But, to reply… I am really conflicted, and my conflict is only compounded by my enneagram 6 nature XD
I have been showcasing my mirthful Ne side on discord, as you well know, but I too am not all about “grapes and wine.” The phoenix myth resonates strongly with me as well. I have had several of my own figurative deaths and rebirths, yet Auburn may be right when he describes the Pe version of rebirth as less hierarchical than the Fe version. I struggle to accept any part of my past self as a building block for my current self. When I rise again after failure or traumatic experience, I prefer to envision the new me as a clean slate, often abandoning anything connected with my previous self. We’ve discussed before the element of long-term focus granted by Se/Ni, so I imagine that plays a role in the comparison, but my lll- development does lend a lesser capacity towards the same.
One of the rare portions of my life that has been a hierarchical death/rebirth cycle is piano. I have no innate musical talent, only passion. I have several handicaps that make both playing and reading music a real battle. I’ve performed so badly in previous recitals that had it been any other activity, I would have quit out of shame. But for piano, I rise again after each defeat, more determined than before.
Am I doing any good in the world by this? Not really. My talents would probably be better developed elsewhere. The pursuit here is one entirely of self-interest. I’m not sharing a message or vision with the world (though sometimes I like to believe I might at least be an inspiration to someone someday), I’m merely proving to myself that will and passion are all I need to attain mastery of a skill.
You seem to embody the Fe Phoenix myth better than I, sacrificing yourself for a greater purpose. I share a similar desire to put myself through the grind, but from a different angle.
Hmm … I’m not sure I’m satisfied with all I’ve said so far (is this really a 6 thing? what does it feel like to be not 6?… it must be so pleasant haha!). But anyway, let me try to elaborate more and do away with any semblance of structure to this post. I have the Ne propensity to get bored. I crave novelty, I can be unpredictable. But I also crave rigor. I enjoy the pain of self-discipline. I may not stay the course with my hobbies and career path, but for a less narrowly defined vision of becoming my better self, bring on the challenge! I impose upon myself lot of mini challenges for the sake of building my character. It is one grand vision composed of seemingly unrelated parts. I don’t perceive myself as a vessel through with archetypal messages may be transmitted, but rather as an aspiring inspiration to others to become their best selves whatever that may entail.
What @Auburn said here explains a lot for me:
Almost all of the 3-4 function conscious individuals we’ve seen have had careers or lives defined by working on their weaknesses. Patching up their Achille’s heels. And they’re almost all “paradoxes” in the sense that they have conflicting traits.
I have a long way yet to go patching up my achilles heel, but it remains a priority whilst I simultaneously embrace the myth of Ne whole heartedly. I would hardly recognize myself sans the conflicting traits resulting from this.
nb: I haven’t had a chance to read through all of the posts after Animal’s question to me, so please forgive anything that doesn’t make sense in light of what has been further discussed.