- Type: NeFi
- Development: l--l
- Attitude: Seelie
This is a note on my phone from summer of 2017. “I go first” refers to the Amish schoolhouse shooting in which the oldest child said, “Shoot me first.” I wrote it on my phone because I was going to explain something to somebody. I forgot whom. But I it was about my Fi and Te in contrast to both Fe and Se. It was a reference to my worldview and indirect leadership style. And it explains a lifestyle of deliberate refrain due, at least in part, to conviction.
“I go first.
Because I am both a lady and a gentleman.
I self disclose first. because I know you are just as human as me.
I’m not saying this to boast but to inspire a new way, a new vision. I try to create the world I want to live in. My idealism propels me, and beneath that idealism is a sober realism the realists know nothing about. Realists know about the reality of getting ahead. I live with the sober conviction that to get ahead in in this world means to climb atop others, even indirectly.
I have sat out rather than participated. I have chosen then bottom because to climb to the top means to climb over others. And because I want to serve the least of these. Yet the reality is that I’m only sipping the coffee I am now because unfair trade exists.In my book, sins of omission don’t rank too far below sins of commission in this big dominance hierarchy.
I’m ready to pave new ways, carve out new paths where we can all win. In order to shape the world we want, we must nod to the darkness in ourselves.
I go first.
And I bring you up with me.”
@animal, I have a feeling you could relate to some of this. Your technique and take are different, but I know you deliberately bear the brunt of some things because you know you can handle it, and somebody needs to do it. I am also like that in areas.