- Type: SeFi
- Development: lll-
- Attitude: Unseelie
Hmm, there’s a lot here to think about and I am going to write a more comprehensive reply tomorrow. As I mentioned in the other thread, my tone may sound more rude and immediate than I intend, because I haven’t slept properly and I’m struggling to get the words out. I apologize for that, on this thread or the other. 🙁
My initial response is this:
I don’t care about society, ‘random fascination’ or what others have told me. I’ve always been driven by my own muse, something deep within myself. I wrote my first long novels when I was less than 12 years old! My real life story wrote itself – and the phoenix rising from the ashes, facing my demons, is very real and natural. Being my own hero is not a ‘fascination.’ It’s a necessity and a life-long pattern. I could not fake the way I dug myself out of my own grave, spiritually, emotionally and artistically. This is real.
So I have to maintain that the hero story, rising from the ashes and battling my own demons with will, fire and brimstone – is natural, instinctual, imperative and heartfelt. And I’ve tapped into similar themes to the ones in your phoenix/Fe posts.
I can’t agree with the idea that society told me to do this, or it’s a ‘fetish’ or ‘fascination’ to be my own hero and defeat my demons – or, that this is why I tapped into such things as a writer. I have no need to become a leader or a queen, but deep need to battle my own demons and rise above them, as written on the first page of my website: “The enemy is within, the hero is within, the savior is within.” Such sentiments rose from my heart, even in my dreams and my LSD trips. They are not fake, socially crafted, ‘fascination’ oriented or forced. They are a realistic commentary on my real, lived experience.
You see how deeply I embody the Animal, the Hunter, the Trickster, the Aphrodisiac – so you know I have embodied my nature. You see how my website descriptions mirror your Fi and Se mythology. You see how deep I have gone. And yet the hero myth arises from that place, in my life and my stories. So if this is specific to Fe, I wonder why it is something that is as natural to me as breathing?