- Type: SiFe
- Development: l-ll
- Attitude: Adaptive
The void myth is a very interesting topic to me. I have a very convoluted relationship toward it–one that I’m still not sure I completely understand. As much as I can tell, I actually experience void as something outside of myself that I become aware of when I feel it’s threatening me or encroaching on me.
I don’t actually have the experience of feeling disconnected from my own life, but I do relate to the void myth in the sense that my mind tends to generate void-like thought patterns. This creates a clash between what I know from experience & what I think from conceptualization.
Here’s an example of these kind of thoughts….
While it’s easy to get drawn into these thought-paths, my mind does not experience them in a neutral or uninhibited way. Rather, I find myself reacting with dread & nonacceptance—reflexively searching for reasons to counter such conceptualizations. While i can worry endlessly about such nihilistic beliefs, I can never actually accept them because they tend to cast a gloomy pall over how I experience & act in world. Even my Ti doesn’t actually have compelling reasons to internalize such perspectives—e.g. If life is ultimately doomed/meaningless, and my viewpoints emerge from my experience in life, then it’s ultimately every bit as futile for me to recognize the truth of life’s meaninglessness as it is for me to be happily oblivious to it.
So I think my relationship toward the void goes something like this: in order to flow well in life, I need to have a set of beliefs that aligns with—or at least doesn’t undermine—my internal sensibility that my actions in life are worthwhile. I can’t truly suppress my mind from coming up with nihilistic propositions, yet when it does, my reflexive inclination is to try to fend these off. These void-like ideas can have compelling rationale, but qualitatively they are somewhat thin & intellectual, not something I truly know in an internal or experiential way. Because of this, and because I don’t readily accept these ideas, I tend to experience them as being outside of myself. My propensity to become personally invested in dismissing such ideas increases this sense of juxtaposition.
I should say that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become better at accepting and integrating these kind of ideas without either trying to suppress them or allowing them to overpower my worldview. For example, in the example I gave above about the destruction of Earth’s & humanity, I’ve learned to accept that the future is not yet real, and that there’s no way of knowing what it will ultimately bring. IT’s certainly possible that the future will be a terrible one filled with authoritarians & billionaires who squeeze the life out our planet, but the best way of preventing that from happening is by trying to actually take actions toward a more hopeful outcome.