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Thana
Participant
  • Type: NiTe
  • Development: lll-
  • Attitude: Unseelie

What is your name? Or the story behind your alias?

I don’t want to give out name on a public forum, even if it’s just my first name. I’m a bit paranoid. I did not come up with my alias unfortunately, instead it was originally the name of tumblr blog I encountered in 2011 that posted interesting material including MBTI related stuff. I first appropriated the name in 2015 when I registered to PersonalityCafe because I had a hard time coming up with an alias. Nonetheless, the Freudian connotation didn’t escape me and I had a nascent understanding on how it encapsulated me. Little did I realize at the time, that name would take on a life of its own and come to symbolically encapsulate my journey with mental illness, death (intense and obsessive-compulsive suicidal and homicidal ideation), decay, transgression, eroticized violence, and eventually healing and transformation.

During the years of ill-properly treated mental illness, the language of violence and destruction were the only ones the spoke clearly to me. I wasn’t overtly violent, but I carried a lot of rage, hatred, and grief, and I was just waiting for the moment to tip over to the other side, the point where I irrevocably reached that moral and psychological event horizon which in my mind included murder. I was also obsessed with my own death and the symbolic implications of it. I often had grandiose visions of my own murder-suicide, an event that would go beyond Columbine and Yukio Mishima’s televised suicide by seppuku. I was obsessed with death and consuming the most violent and degenerate material out there. It was all one big death rehearsal. I was cut off from the well-spring of humanity, Cosmic Love and thus I set out to embody the worst aspects of my personality. I wanted to set the world on fire.

I couldn’t have my love and sex without pain and a bit violence. My first relationship, as short as it was, was toxic, volatile, emotionally abusive, and unfortunately left a lasting imprint on me romantically, sexually, and existentially which I’m trying to still recover from. We engaged in an eroticized danse macabre fed by his past abuse and my natural sadomasochistic tendencies. We set ourselves on fire with no hope of anything arising from the fiery destruction.

It wasn’t until January of this year that I had the goal to go beyond that. I’ll always have that downward pull to the abyss but I wanted to integrate it into something higher, something that encapsulated all aspects of life and death. I had to break out of the illusion that all I was destined for were decay and destruction. Those delusions needed to die or else I’d die prematurely. Fire could be used to both destroy and purify and that’s essentially what I set out to do.

Where are you from?

Western US

How old are you?

20s

What’s your gender?

Fembot

What got you interested in Cognitive Type?

It was natural progression from learning socionics, as socionics is a natural progression from learning MBTI and Jungian cognitive functions. It also helps @animal is obsessed with it haha. But I love the archetypal narrative and structure of Cognitive Types. It’s a work in progress which is exciting because regardless of your level of participation you are a part of helping further solidify and enrich the system. It’s not a static system.

What did/do you type as in other systems?

In MBTI, I used to type as an INFP for the longest time. First it was INTJ, then INTP, then INFP. When I learned socionics and got typed by others, I typed at ESI. Then a short foray into LSI and then ILI. Before Auburn typed me, I was struggling between FiSe and NiTe, and funny enough my original typing, INTJ (NiTe), was correct even if it was by accident (or perhaps coincidence).

In enneagram I am core 5w4 sp/sx, full tritype 5w4 9w8 3w4 sp/sx.

Do you have a partner/lover?

I have a lover and potential lover at work whom I flirt heavily with. I’m not in a committed relationship as I’m extremely picky about serious relationships. I’m not going to lie, I’m addicted to the attention, sex, and praise but I’m not polyamorous. Once I’m in a serious relationship, I am 100% with them.

Do you have any kids?

No and I don’t want any

Do you have any pets?

No 🙁

Life motto?

Hard to encapsulate my life motto. I’ll have to put a raincheck on that.

Favorite Flavor?

Spicy or something fresh/refreshing

Spirituality?

A hodgepodge of mysticism, occultism, and gnosticism. It’s ever evolving into something better articulated.

Social Media

Mainly facebook, discord, goodreads, and a blog of my journal entries. I won’t link them here, but you can ask for them via PM.

Random Fact About Me

-___________-

 

 

 

 

 

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Thana.

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