Reply To: Cognitive Type + Compatibility Patterns

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Animal
Participant
  • Type: SeFi
  • Development: lll-
  • Attitude: Unseelie

I was just thinking – I wonder if my lifelong attraction to TiSe and NiFe men – which is an actual pattern in my life — is related to my father being NiFe. I also wonder if anyone else has noticed a pattern like this.

In general, people tend to indulge in repetition compulsion. They try to resolve built up issues in their psyche through new relationships.  I wonder whether we are drawn to others who represent these issues as they are made manifest through functions.

*Dances with Freud and Oedipus*

Many people are uncomfortable with exploring this because they see it as “I’m not projecting, I just really love my partner.” But it’s not either-or.

I see my husband as a separate entity from myself, my father, or my dreams, but the attractive allure around him that makes him stand out among all other men has to be somehow related to my own intrapsychic needs.

Of course in a healthy relationship you evolve way beyond that, and if you’re not a narcissist you see people as separate entities from your projections, even from the start.  You afford them empathy and autonomy automatically.

But those intrapsychic components still run on automatic in the background. And exploring them in an honest way can help people to understand the difference between their projections and their partner as a separate entity, so their projections will not infect the relationship more than is necessary.

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Animal.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Animal.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Animal.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Animal.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Animal.

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