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- Type: SeFi
- Development: lll-
- Attitude: Unseelie
Lay typologists often have an āNā ego and find refuge in typology for the validation it gives that ego image. It allows them to preserve a self-concept of higher importance by weaving together a story of āWhy I was not understood in the world.ā The reason, they infer, is that they are intuitive and others arenāt, and so they see things in a way others donāt, which is why they are outcast and misunderstood.
I’m definitely N ego, but I have never fallen prey to this type of thinking. The idea that 1/4 of the world is N first, means right away it isn’t special.Ā Same with enneagram types.Ā My ego tells me š that being special involves something way beyond embodying a type in a system invented by a third party.
The problem lies with the definitions of Se and Si – which are not always so great. Jung’s Si was a bit better and more abstract, but his Se was not something most people would pin on someone like me.
When I first got into typology, I was focused on learning enneagram and allowed others to type my functions if they wanted.Ā I was advised right away that I had to be “N dom.” People argued whether I was Ne or Ni; I went with “tentatively NFP” although I never related to a Ne description, but Fi seemed better.
The minute I looked into functions myself, I said “Nope, Se. I’m ISFP.”Ā I typed as ISFP for a couple years, only to be told by others that I had a false conception of myself, that I was such an obvious intuitor.Ā The pressure became so great that I started wondering: what if I really am seeing myself wrongly?Ā By the time I got here, I was considering both FeNi and FiSe.
I do have some reasons for reconsidering Se.Ā I’m more about inner passions, music etc – than anything worldly.Ā I’m more in my heart and art than in my body.Ā I don’t care for food or “hookups” without romance and connection.Ā I’m no good at sports, I suck at drawing and dancing no matter how hard I try, and I am not cut out for stunts either. Cars, physical items etc; don’t hold power for me.Ā I need my living spaceĀ and clothes to reflect my inner world so that my lifestyle is conducive to my creative and spiritual endeavors, but I don’t need to “have expensive items” or collect nick nacks. Nothing material or body-oriented is my focus; I don’t even like to cook, or wear makeup or heels.
But I figured I was a sensor because I’m a kinetic learner. I learn by doing, I think with my hands.Ā I’m a vessel through which passion emerges. When I’m playing or listening to music, I am the song.Ā My body is a canvas through which to express my inner self. Aesthetics are essential to my being.Ā For most of my life, I obsessed over tangible projects that I poured my soul into – albums, novels, videos.Ā I find music, art, and anecdotal stories much more natural than describing anything in words.Ā Socially, I’m much more natural in person than online. I talk much less, but communicate much more. I read people through body language, feel their feelings and sense their state of mind and inner life.
I thought for these reasons I’d be a sensor, but the reason I didn’t type as Se first is because of being told (many times, correctly) that I suck at anything physical or visual. My parents make fun of me for being clumsy, awkward in my body and not knowing what looks good on me, and I internalized this, even though many others have appreciated my style. My mother did point out that when I would invent a certain style and wear it to school, others would copy; I was a trendsetter. But from my pov, I wasn’t noticing trends; I was simply expressing my inner self. So I figured, FiSe; based on how I’ve acted in my life.
The only reason I considered N is because I was bullied and wrankled on several forums šĀ and I eventually caved into the idea that maybe I wasn’t seeing myself correctly and ought to consider other options.Ā I understood too well that it’s difficult to see yourself objectively, since so many people mistyped – and I did not see myself as ‘above’ mistyping; as it’s unrealistic.
Perhaps my Se-Te ‘realism’ plays into my typing process too. “Why would N make someone special if 1/4 of the world is N dominant?” and “Real life experience has shown me people have trouble seeing themselves clearly” – are part of my thinking pattern when typing myself.Ā Ā Also,Ā S types have a better chance of being noticeably ‘special’ because at least, that archetype would give us the edge on expressing our inner uniqueness through our appearance šĀ And this is why I personally don’t fall prey to such trains of thought, even if I can still be wrong.Ā I’ll ask myself, how do these functions and categories play out in the real world?
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
Animal.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
Animal.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
Animal.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
Animal.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
Animal.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
Animal.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
Animal.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
Animal.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
Animal.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
Animal.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
Animal.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
Animal.