Reply To: How Does your Lead Function Manifest in your Personality?

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Elisa Day
Participant
  • Type: TiSe
  • Development: ll--
  • Attitude: Adaptive

Seeking the truth to life:

Somewhat, though I know others who pursue this harder than I do. The meaning of life and purpose of humanity is something I often ponder and theorize about, but there are aspects to this description that have always had me perceiving others as overthinking this area of life. I always knew that I would never truly know all of the secrets of the universe and chose to ride the waves of events, soak up the beauty, and appreciate what we have rather than analyze everything too deeply. Since I was a child I theorized the fractal multiverse and could picture it clearly. I saw our universe as a brain inside a body within another universe and so on and whatever “god” exists is beyond that. Envisioning this infinity was soothing enough for me and seeking higher guidance didn’t feel necessary.

Attunement and Purification:

No, this doesn’t resonate at all. Again, I do know people like this that are obsessed with purity, but I’m not one of them. Lately I’ve been delving deeper into ritualistic magic and meditation, and many times there are practices involving releasing what doesn’t serve you and letting go. This has been helpful in overcoming depression, but I see no point in burning sage and worrying too much about purifying the energy of my space. If you cleanse the bad energy you also cleanse the good along with it. It’s like taking antibiotics and cleaning out your entire gut flora. A diverse energy microbiome will more adequately regulate the spirit.

Permeability:

Some parts of this, yes.

“A conflict develops between the Fi user wanting to have their own inner state undisturbed, and resisting being drowned by the states of others.”

This is mostly true, but I think it has more to do with sensitivity to sensory stimulation and chaos than with emotions for me. It seems to me that people around me are either typically chill or I tend to be fairly emotionally detached most of the time and have been told I’m maybe a bit too highly tolerant of others. Unconsciously the emotions of others will effect me over time, but it takes me awhile to notice it is happening. In the meantime I tend to play the punching bag until someone intervenes.

Emotional palette:

“And each Fi user will be very specific in what contents they allow in and which they cast out, tailored from a lifetime of bombardments that have made a custom whitelist for those things that are acceptable.”

No, not really. This is a lesson I’m just now beginning to learn as I have come to understand the importance of guarding the gates to my subconscious. Perhaps when I was young I was quite sensitive and to this day I’m still sensitive to criticism, but feedback from others has shown me that my infinite patience and high tolerance would tell me this passage doesn’t quite fit.

Discovery of inner essence:

“The Fi user is aware very early on that every individual possesses a unique and sacred soul which remains unmodified at its core, but which can be tarnished and crippled by our necessary collision with an imperfect world.”

This is definitely not something I believe. I believe we all are are continuously evolving and changing. We are only copies of copies of copies, etc of our original essences. All of the material that makes up our bodies is continuously broken down, expelled, and replaced including our perspectives. Only the memories contained within our thoughts hold record of our original essences, and those memories are highly distorted.

It irritates me when people say things like “be yourself” or “be authentic” because I don’t believe there is any other way to be. Even if we wear masks and adopt a persona, it is still our own unique masks and personas: our own individual creations. They are coded within our programming and thus a part of us.

I do believe humans are animals and are one with nature as with everything else, yes. There was a brief phase I followed when I attempted to connect with my inner primal self. That phase didn’t last very long, however, as it seemed to be deviating from humanity’s higher purpose which necessitated the acceptance of the shadow side of mankind which is natural to us all.

Idiosyncrasy and self-expression:

Yes, to an extent. There was the angsty goth teen phase, and I did feel different growing up as a child. My peers treated me like a demon outcast, so I embraced the darkness they created in order to feel more empowered. As an adult I see this game as more of an act than actual expressions of individuality. There are times when I feel alienated for having tastes that deviate so much from what’s popular, so I keep most of my tastes to myself and instead focus on expressing universal conceptual and emotional truths.

Hypersensitive and Overwhelm:

Yes, but most of this description sounds like me when I was a child. Parts of this are still true, but I’m able to control it much better now. There are days when it’s like a dark storm cloud is hanging over my head and my heart is heavy with the deepest ache, but hostile environments don’t tend to be what breaks me. Whether or not I’m passive aggressive is debatable, but I can certainly be aggressive as well as hysterical.

Alexithymia & dissociation:

This is familiar, and if it weren’t for this part of the entire description I would likely deny any likelihood of valuing Fi. Alexithymia does sound a lot like my struggles with my inner demon monster, but I have to be pretty unhealthy and hitting rock bottom to experience dissociation.

Mythology/Edin/Fairy vs Witch:

This makes me laugh since people have compared me to Snow White and other Disney Princesses before. It’s a bit embarrassing. However, the other day someone told me I gave them maleficent vibes. There’s a consistent pattern throughout my life of being told I embody the angel/demon or good girl/bad girl polarity. If I’m going to be compared to any Disney Princess I would hope it’s Princess Jasmine, but I only dream of being that bad-ass. My natal chart reflects extremely masculine energy, and I do still struggle with my animus, but according to some I’m “as feminine as it gets.” I’ve also been called the High Priestess, so I suppose this part of the description rings true.

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