Reply To: How Does your Lead Function Manifest in your Personality?

Index Forums Cognitive Functions How Does your Lead Function Manifest in your Personality? Reply To: How Does your Lead Function Manifest in your Personality?

Thana
Participant
  • Type: NiTe
  • Development: lll-
  • Attitude: Unseelie

3) Is there another function theme – aside from that of your first function – that resonates more with your personality and role in the world? If so, how does it manifest?

Even though I’ve been typed at ll–, I can’t help but feel that there’s an interplay between my Ni and Fi especially when I was younger. Te and Se have been underlying and oscillating drives for me with Te more recently being more consciously understood and utilized with more nuance as I age. But Fi has always been close to me, and in some ways you can’t encounter my Ni without Fi following close behind (hence why I mistyped as FiSe for some time).

Like what I did with the first question, I’ll speak more generally and holistically of the themes and archetypes of Fi since that’s the most effective way for me communicate, and I can’t see and experience these themes as separate and atomistic. They bleed and coalesce into each other for that. You should be able to parse out the themes and archetypes. Anyways, integrity of the self, identity, and consistency of principles have been enduring themes in my life. It has always been important to parse out and formulate what’s “me” and what’s “not me” and understand what that entails. I have a duty to understand, order, and embody my values or else what use are they? And most importantly, what does that make me? Having an amorphous sense of identity can be disorienting even existentially terrifying at times. What and where is the foundation I stand upon? Likewise, I can be ruthlessly critical towards those who I deem are living in bad faith/dishonestly whether it’s done purposely or unconsciously (usually it’s an interplay of the two). No matter what they do, that’ll leave a stain on my perception of them and a bad taste in my mouth. I’ll fixate on it, and even verbalize my misgivings, if they don’t resolve the misalignment themselves. The reason this severely grates on me is not only does the mismatch come off as loud to me with them and everyone else not seeing or refusing to acknowledge the elephant in the room, but it shows a lack of integrity and denying one’s obligation to oneself. Granted, to live in bad faith is in itself a defense mechanism, a way to assuage the potentially ego destroying assaults life grants to us. To a degree we all live in bad faith, but for some it’s more pervasive than most. Or theirs just happens to be louder and more noticeable. To live in bad faith is to waste your precious time. To live in bad faith is to waste other people’s time because you are giving them a false you.

On the other hand, this is why I have an affinity for animals: their purity. I don’t mean purity in seeing animals as innocent or idealistically, they just are. They have their own complexity but they lack the over-complicated bs that humans possess and dwell on. Animals are straightforward and instinctual. Human complexity is fascinating but maddening, both awe-inspiring and moving, and treacherous and paradoxical.

My Fi doesn’t always manifest in the most pleasant ways even if I do carry a lot of seelie traits. I’ve always been attuned to the macabre, grotesque, and brutal and dark expressions of reality. I’ve always been sympathetic to my and others’ dark underbelly, the place where the wounds, scars, open sores, and secrets fester linger. The side that wants to f**k and kill anything in its path. The side of you that’s rageful, envious, vengeful, avaricious, and darkly lustful. I do experience schadenfreude at desiccating perfection (usually out of a sense of envy) and destroying delusions. To destroy in order to purify and create. The left hand path is just as valid and necessary as the right hand path, as neither can exist without the other. Opposition, conflict, synthesis, and transformation are all natural forces of life. When I start to feel unhealthy and disconnected, I begin to “punch out” into the world to keep some semblance of influence, control, and connection. I get belligerent, provocative, callous, and confrontational if not outright sadistic. I’m also extremely vain and self-obsessed as laid out in the unseelie under stress section of Fi.

Lastly, l’m planning on getting my Masters’ in social work with the focus of working in corrections. You have abusers and killers. People who  are simply victims of the prison-industrial complex. And many fitting in both categories. I plan to work with them all.

Questions 4 and 5 will be done shortly.

 

 

 

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Thana.
  • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Thana.

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