Reply To: Cognitive Type + Compatibility Patterns

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Bera
Moderator
  • Type: SeFi
  • Development: ll--
  • Attitude: Seelie

@Animal – I honestly don’t have a formed opinion about this issue, because I only found out about CT fairly recently.

But talking to you guys on discord and knowing your types for sure, I did analyze if there are differences between how I relate to different types/different quadras. In general, for me there doesn’t seem to be a big difference, so I think I could relate to people from all quadras.

But I noticed there are certain aspects that I find easier to discuss with Se-Ni people. Or things some Se-Ni users say, that I instinctively get, even if the discussion gets pretty complicated and touches on serious topics. I may not completely agree with them but I can understand what is being said.

I also feel a wonderful connection with deltas but it’s a different type of understanding. We tend to talk a lot about feelings and relationships. About who we are and what makes us happy or sad. Probably because we are Fi users, so we relate by using Fi. 🙂

And with Se-Ni types I sometimes see a bigger openness for exploring topics about how we see the world. And it could be socially focused (as with jelle) or esoterically (?) focused, as with Umbi.

I want to experiment talking about these types of topics with Ne-Si users too, to be able to really understand the difference in perception. I think some misunderstandings could emerge, but probably this would be a good thing in the end because if the misunderstandings are clarified both people will see the whole picture in the end. BUT there is also a chance for misunderstandings to remain unsolved, which basically translates in an incompatibility of views that could lead to conflicts.

So, I think there would be some pros and cons for relating to anyone. Because if an Se-Ni user explains to me what he thinks about the Universe and about consciousness, I will most probably get him. And he will clarify my views for me. I will see them clearer, like in a mirror, but also magnified and having more facets than my own world view. But it would still be my world view, expressed in a different way or at least a similar world view expressed in a way I understand.

And if I would be having the same talk with an Ne-Si user, probably we would bump into stuff we wouldn’t agree upon. Which might lead to questions of defining things until we are sure we understand the differing view points. And this can be frustrating. But the plus is that by defining things both people start having a clearer understanding of where they are coming from and if they also manage to understand the opposing idea, they basically learn something completely new about the world/humanity or whatever topic there was. 🙂

The good thing is that knowing our functions, when such a situation appears, we will soon realize why it’s happening and we could try to address the issue instead of blindly defending our own opinion without taking into consideration that we arrived at it because we are who we are and not because it’s necessarily a generally valid point. Two people can see things differently and just explore why this is happening until they finally have an aha ! – moment when they get what the other is saying. And after that they can rise above the situation, because they now have both view points and they can jump from one to the other whenever they need.

Now this of course also depends on our openness and interest in increasing our pool of understanding ! So, I think it could also depend on whether we are more P or J. Because I am obviously an Se-lead, so Pe, and I can see how bumping into someone with a completely different world view would be beneficial but for J leads or for people who have J functions developed this could look completely different. Because for them the focus would not be to perceive as many things as possible, right?

An Te lead could say – ok, so what’s the use in struggling for 2 hours to get to understand this guy’s differing opinion and where he is coming from? Is this a productive way of developing a relationship? Will it work?? How??

So I think this is not just about incompatibility, but also about every person’s aim, because P – s aims are very different from J- aims.

Also, all I said is applicable to love matches and to friendships.

So, maybe faeruss is right and a mixture of the familiar and the unfamiliar would be the best for a match. But I think all types could have good and lasting relationships.

It’s fascinating how well I write about relationships. :)) I wish I was so good in practice too. 😛

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Bera.

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