- Type: NeTi
- Development: ll-l
- Attitude: Adaptive
I am sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling hopeless. Based on what you’ve shared here I think there are some really helpful things to consider that you may or may not have already, so my apologies in advanced if this advice is unwanted or unhelpful.
Lowering your expectations of yourself and the results of your labours may be in order. People tend not to pay attention or recognize someone’s efforts in a given domain until a certain level of mastery has been achieved, and even then there are no guarantees. It often takes years of continuous effort to see strong results in any domain. Personally I have my own labours in terms of voice modulation that I struggle with, but it helps to know that the timeline I’m working within is better measured in years than weeks or months.
It sounds like singing is something really meaningful to you, and it’s really great that you have a creative outlet. Using your own performances as your main point of comparison, rather than using your ideal or highest aspiration can help a lot with motivation. That way you can observe and take joy in your personal progress by comparing yourself against your own recordings instead of focusing on the distance between you and your ultimate goal. The amount of things one will want but never possess is practically infinite, so it’s best to focus on what’s immediately available first. You already have lessons that you are taking, so maximizing the benefit you get from those sounds like a good use of time. Reflecting and writing down the areas you really want to improve upon ahead of the lesson could help quicken the progress you’ll find there.
Hopefully some of this was helpful, and I wish you the best of luck with your singing and health issues