- Type: NeFi
- Development: ll-l
- Attitude: Seelie
I dissect it, with honesty.
I need to leave Si outside the discussion, though, for a second.
We all might worry, encounter our own difficulties in some ways.
Me, I deal with difficulties with trying to be positive, but also hide from some issues. Social insecurities, the feeling of not being enough, self erasing tendencies of not finding self worth, but outwards. It’s not easy to admit, and before truly understanding MBTI, I considered INTP, and basically reacted by defending my emotions when I got typed it. Part of my type exploration was to figure out how the disparity between type, flaws, and the incoherency of the systems. How emotions fits with thinking functions. But… It was feeling based, yes.
I came here trying to figure out how I can be both logical and emotional. Wearing my heart on my sleeve, be totally open and be cool headed, not bubbly or showing feelings all the time, and not showing my true self if I hit reality face first, smack in the face.
So the me who decided to be typed… Were agitated, semi-panicked, feeling insecure but at same time, fighting the tendency of freezing in front of cameras by trying to show myself anyway, assume this system works anyhow. I got absolutely zero knowledge of acting, at all. That is important, and I think I can do most CT signals if I’d want to, consciously.
I probably got dyslexia, but at same time love reading, and picked up some Swahili in Uni, along with what I know of Portuguese on my own. I love learning, and is attracted to some of what I’m obviously horrible at, and thus always has gone up-down-up-down-up-down in grades in language, excelling and having big issues at same time. That do not help me feel secure. Neither do my stupid attempts at trying to bypass my native tonal patterns in my native language (it got pitch, but is also tonal), which I now understand, probably just sounds “funny”, but should not affect anything. Getting stuck on analysing gibberish don’t help…