Reply To: Profiler (Early-Release)

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Alice
Participant
  • Type: FiSe
  • Development: ll--
  • Attitude: Unseelie

Auburn this is incredible!!!! I’m pretty satisfied with this profile, it’s really quite spot on in most regards. I’m going to be nitpicky though and, for the sake of accuracy, point out some stuff that I don’t 100% relate to.

And while you do linger on these intellectual questions a lot, your investigation of true reality
more often comes in the form of an artistic exploration, such as via poems, lyric writing, paintings, music, dance or fashion,
wherein the artform becomes the vehicle by which those core realizations can radiate out into the world.

While it is true that I have an inclination toward the arts, I would say that I’m much more of a consumer or maybe curator than I am a creator. I enjoy making mixes of music for my friends, for example, or really really listening to an album to capture every single aspect of the creation and it’s raw feeling. I usually do my investigations through other people’s art, or non-artistic experiences. I do communicate and investigate the deeper aspects of my emotions and life through creating things, but it’s pretty rare that I actually feel ready enough to actually do any creating. I sometimes, for months, just have no desire to create anything. Even when I’m perfectly happy!

I think this creative urge comes out in other ways for me, and I’m sure this is true for other people too. It isn’t always through the arts. For me, I investigate true reality through deep person-to-person connection. That’s been anything ranging from having deep conversations with very close friends, to having casual sex with strangers. I seek out and really honestly crave deep intimacy with others, and through that intimacy, I get a glimpse of something I think is a perfect blend of Fi and Se: a person’s essence completely intertwined with the moment we are in together. It is in those moments that I feel I can tap into the flow of life most easily, and lose myself in it. When I am in that moment of conversation between my truest, most honest self and someone else’s truest, most honest self, I feel very much alive in a kind of ecstatic way. There are no barriers between me and myself, if that makes sense, or me and the moment. I usually feel one step removed from my surroundings, or myself. Sometimes more than one step removed.

However, you are also very perfectionistic about this and will take your time with your writings, songs or crafts – making sure each work is as representative as possible of the ineffable, core idea that exists in your mind. If that idea isn’t manifesting justly, then you’ll hesitate to put it into the world. This inescapably makes you slower than others at most tasks, as you invest extra in a precision which others are much freer to cut short for the sake of practicality.

This is very true for the most part, but as far as my creativity goes, I have learned to get out of my own way. If I spend too much time tinkering with something, I know that it probably is going to end up ruined. The first version of anything is usually on the right track. If it isn’t on the right track, then it probably isn’t good. If it isn’t good, there’s honestly no saving it. Trash it, save the labor for perfecting something good. If I don’t know if something is good or bad, I tend to put it down, forget about it, and rediscover it years later. Then I’ll know whether it’s good or bad (but it will no longer speak of my current experience, so it’s useless to me except for inspiration).

You’re not afraid to make critical opinions of others, and to call out lies and hypocrisies where
you see them. This can give you a “sassy” attitude, and others may experience you as touchy. But while some may see your views as harsh, you ultimately seek fairness and justice which requires forthrightness. You value not beating around the bush, and hearts that express what they truly feel.

This used to be spot on, but since I’ve kind of realized how mean I could be, I’ve really reigned it in. I’ve done a lot of self-work on kindness, patience, and understanding. I feel a lot of guilt over how blunt and judgmental I was, and I have tried my best to correct it. I mostly keep my opinions to myself when I feel I can in good conscience, but sometimes I have to tell people when they are being unjust or unfair. I try to do so calmly and eloquently first though, and I try to allow them to respond. In extreme cases though, I lose my temper and blow up at people. It’s usually a really short burst of emotion, followed by me leaving and feeling shaky and guilty for a while. I really hate it when I’m too touchy, and I try to remain as composed as possible at all times. Hardest of all, I try to not judge others before we have a chance to talk to each-other plainly and openly.

All-in-all though, I am truly impressed by the accuracy of this profile, and I absolutely can’t wait to see what you come up with next!

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