Reply To: Notes on Emotional Intelligence

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Auburn
Keymaster
  • Type: TiNe
  • Development: l--l
  • Attitude: Adaptive

I’ve split this tangent into its own thread.

It appears this exchange went on longer than both of you would have liked, and feels less fruitful than it could have been. Cedar, if I can just direct a comment you said back around:

All any of us can do is show up with positive intentions, open minds, an assumption that others mean well, and patience.

I very much agree with this, and it appears you do too. And it seems that you tried to put this into practice initially when you intuited certain intentions to Animal, but rather than assuming right away you began by asking:

What are your intentions when you post? How are you hoping the information will be received?

However, after Animal explained her intentions, your response appeared to be in opposition to your own principle.

Your motivations for why you are interested in typology are clear. It isn’t true that you don’t care what others think, as you have a tendency to become emotional to what is perceived as an attack.

When she communicated to you her intentions, as a response to your direct inquiry, you disbelieved her and superimposed your own interpretations of her, onto her. You told her what her motivations are, why she was doing it and what she did and didn’t care about. I find this to be in bad faith and also not conducive to the sort of open-mindedness towards others that you appear to be in full support of.

So I wonder if you can “assume other people (Animal) mean well”, assume “positive intentions” here, have an “open mind” and “patience” in this situation too?

I’d like to try to explain a little about Animal, the way I see her.

Animal has a lot of feelings, and is a person who feels a lot. Which mean that her self-expression style can be genuinely overjoyed about something, affectionate and mushy without it being an indication of “idolization.” Because the opposite can also happen, and she’ll turn back around and jab at things she feels are wrong, unfair or unjust. And she’s done so to me several times ( ) and certainly does not think me infallible. Quite far from it, she is quick to remind me of where mistakes are and I intake feedback from her just like anyone else– rather constantly.

She shares your same desire to see CT flourish into the potential that awaits it. But she disagrees with the notion that the investigative process needs to be sterile or stoic, as if emotional displays were the enemy to truth. The fallacy here is to assume that passion is prejudice. In reality, truth-seeking is not mutually exclusive with having passions (about the topic). Actually, a truly skeptical and rational approach would simply —factor out– the emotional component when making a critical calculation.

So to assume that her passion for the CT project would lead to fallacies in her ability to think critically about its structure and theoretical formulation, is an assumption and bias, unless there are tangible examples present that show this interference happening. Now, to be fair there might be, but even so those things would be addressed on the merits of the argument in question. A mathematician can be as enthusiastic or negative about their work as they’d like, but when it comes to the numbers, they still have to crunch them like a calculator. They don’t have to be as dry as a calculator, in their personal lives, to do the math.

From your writings, you seem to also value being a part of a group and will fiercely defend those in that group. I value critical thinking, refuse to see people as ideal/god-like, attempt to keep an open mind

And it’s in statements like this that we see a conflation happening, where there is a dichotomy put in place between defending those ones cares about instead of thinking critically. People can defend those they care about, while disagreeing with them, when it comes to their ideas. They’re not mutually exclusive.

Animal has a lot of love for this project, as do I, but the correct application of “positive intention” and “good will” here would be to not assume that this would interfere with the investigative process. So I think technical questions about the model are to be addressed on theoretical grounds only, without recourse to ad hominems pertaining to people’s emotional investment.

That being said…

If I may say so, I believe you are doing a beautiful job of fulfilling that purpose.

Animal, it does make me uncomfortable to have this sort of public admiration!

As far as help with the social aspect of CT, I think it would actually help me make headway with other members like Cedar if I could address their theoretical points on a neutral basis first, and let them decide for themselves how they feel about the model, or myself/etc. I understand that’s already the case (of the universe by default) that we all must make our own decisions, but I think Cedar (and she won’t be the only one) may view the interjection of praise for CT in a technical thread as a sort of implicit “argument” to be substituted in place of a technical point, even if that is not the intention. I wonder if that makes sense?

I think that is what can come across as favoritism and groupthink, and so it would help me if, in technical threads, I could wrestle with members one on one through theory. I’d really appreciate that!

So… no defending me!

  • This reply was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by Auburn.
  • This reply was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by Auburn.
  • This reply was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by Auburn.
  • This reply was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by Auburn.
  • This reply was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by Auburn.
  • This reply was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by Auburn.

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