Reply To: Notes on Emotional Intelligence

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  • Type: TiNe
  • Development: l--l
  • Attitude: Adaptive

No offense taken, Cedar! 🙂

I didn’t say anything bad about Auburn. I should hope Auburn doesn’t think he is phenomenal at understanding the emotional condition of others. I hope his ego is okay with this being the other side of the coin of being capable of huge mental feats. He sees the world from his perspective, you from yours, me from mine, etc… We cannot will into existence the use of cognitive functions for the sake of a model.

Yeah, I’m certainly not phenomenal at understanding human emotions, and have a long way to go in that department. It is something that I actively aim to work at. And it’s not something I could judge on my own, since part of the equation of emotional intelligence is personal and the other is interpersonal— so it’s up to others to decide whether my presentation in their life is empathic, ethical and sensible/insightful.

However, I do try to be aware of the human heart in all my endeavors, and some of who I am may be hidden from view in these forum posts. I come across more technical here because of the intent being technical communication. So if I can indulge just a little, I’d like to “introduce” myself more.

My journey into emotional intelligence started, roughly, when I was 15 and went to a Christian boarding school. It was at this point that I realized how bizarre and irregular it was that, unlike other people around me, I seemed to have a chasm between heart and mind. In the context of that theology (which I’ve long since left) I “prayed for God to transform my heart of stone”. If you’re familiar with Christian theology, you might know the phrase. As I don’t believe God ever had anything to do with it, it amounted to a personal effort to “sensitize” myself to people.

I became sensitively attuned to my heart/bodily state, and made it my life purpose to be a beacon of love in the world. By around age 16 I was dipping my feet into giving bible studies, and by age 17 I was standing up in front of crowds giving sermons, on occasion. I had a strong level of ethical weight on my shoulders, and that motivated the development of my Fe. I was stuttering often, was not good at public speaking, but channeled that forward anyhow.

At the age of 18 I started to see the holes in the theology clearly enough to defect from it, but what I had gained in terms of self-growth stayed with me. At age 18 I lead out a video gaming community and website, talking and managing social relations daily in chat. I considered this the “second” group I lead, with the bible studies group being the first.

Since then, I’ve also stepped into leadership roles in other communities. I’m currently an admin of, which I admittedly don’t visit as much anymore but which was a very precious community to me. When the phenomenon of type began to crystallize into awareness in the minds of myself and a few other investigators, I decided to create a new community. This forum here is perhaps the second or third iteration of that community, as the forum has been redesigned in the past seven years and a few generations of people have come and gone.

But this community is different than the rest. Maybe it’s due to the internet’s own evolution, but around 80% of the community traffic happens in the Discord server. ( ) And it’s there that I channel my more interpersonal aspects, while I use the forum primarily to write long-form content that can be refined into articles, experiments, theoretical progress and so forth.

Anyhow, what I mean to say is that, on any given day, I am managing half a dozen private message conversations, and/or Discord discussions, and I care very much for these people. Modship roles have been central to my life for over ten years now, and I learn volumes from needing to mediate between people and hearts in tricky ethical situations. I don’t always succeed, but everything I learn gets looped back into my ever-broadening understanding of human nature.

I don’t know Calypso personally too much, but I’m also not void of connections to many people and I do have a certain toolset that I’ve developed for myself– whether it’s seen as effective or not to others. I’d actually love to have you drop by the chat, to get a sense of what I mean. You may also see a lot more of the members– they’re a great bunch.


  • This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by Auburn.
  • This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by Auburn.
  • This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by Auburn.
  • This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by Auburn.

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