- Type: FiSe
- Development: ll--
- Attitude: Unseelie
Hello! I’ve been reading typological descriptions about myself for probably about 10 years, and it’s very rare I come across one that actually describes me as well as this, especially so succinctly.
There is something missing though that I can’t quite place, and it might be the added resolution of my specific cognitive functions. It’s either that, or my Je which I’ve suspected has been close to the surface for some time. I personally don’t see the value in isolating too much anymore. I used to isolate for days or even weeks, but I can’t do it for even a day now without feeling very very restless and like I’ve wasted potential. I crave that flow you mentioned, and I know I won’t get it if I’m sitting at home ruminating. I know I just have to kick myself in the ass and get out there, and I’ll probably find what I’m looking for. That being said, I certainly do feel I need periods of rest from time to time, but I’ve discovered that I actually don’t need as much rest as I once thought I did. I’ve become much more self-starting and sustained with my energy than I used to be, and I feel I can push through most things if I want to. It is a fairly inconsistent skill though, hence the unconscious aspect of it.
All in all though, this seems like a really spot on description that just might need a little tweaking! I personally focus almost wholly on that state of flow you mentioned. If I am not fully in contact with life, I feel frustrated and like I’ve somehow lost the ability to be present in the moment. It feels like a kind of permanent dissociation if I’m not living to my fullest, and even if doing that is exhausting, its a good kind of exertion and a good kind of rest that comes after.
EDIT: Some classic Alice edits here as I think of more things to say after I’ve hit “post.” I’ve been interested in ideology and politics for a long time, but only from a kind of removed standpoint, and usually only when it directly impacts me or other people like me. I don’t get directly involved in political discussions except when America’s 4 year presidential elections roll around, and that’s when I start feeling bad for not being up to date on politics. Ironically though, I have very deeply held ideological, political, and ethical stances, but I don’t discuss them much. I’m also notoriously out of touch with the news, but I’ve been trying to remedy that lately by replacing my Instagram app with the NPR news app on my phone.
I’ve had an interest in far left anarchist ideology for a long time, probably since I was about 16 or so. I’ve sincerely always held that utopian vision for humanity ever since I was a child, though I know that sounds a little far fetched. I’ve always seen hierarchy as a legitimate evil that prevents people from reaching their full potential, whether they are in a position of privilege or subjugation. This is probably why Je never reached consciousness, as it makes me very uncomfortable to confront my utopian ideals with the concession that hierarchy is sometimes necessary to accomplish goals quickly.