Reply To: Unseelie Fi Description

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a.k.a.Janie
Participant
  • Type: FiSe
  • Development: ll--
  • Attitude: Unseelie

So, how I relate to the original post?

Well, might be my cherry-picking tendencies, but I do feel like I relate to parts of it to various degrees.

  • I believe I’m more emotional than this description, also since I have so much cognitive empathy (although this kind of thing was described under Seelie Fi).
  • Then there’s this, which I think I match:

If I’m comfortable I’ll try to give voice to my observations: “I sense you’re hesitant, uncertain, anxious etc”. But most of the time I won’t say anything. Instead I’ll silently and subtly tweak how I approach you or the situation to suit what I believe is going on behind the scenes and the future I anticipate unfurling in front of me. I will try to jump onto your wavelength and flow with you, not against you.

However, I’m not able to know how my ability to adapt myself to my estimation of another person’s mental/emotional state of mind actually compares to anyone else’s, whether it’s LadyNerdsky’s, or anyone else of the same or different type.

Some other comparisons & contrasts:

  • I actually kind of like being the person people go to to tell all their sob stories to, because their other friends don’t like to be brought down by it. As long as I’m not being used. And over text is better. I’m terrible at affective empathy, although emotional displays don’t bother me per se. (Someone once told me they thought I had mild undiagnosed ASD. I thought about getting tested, but tbh I don’t see anything I stand to gain by a diagnosis, plus I agree with Auburn’s opinion on the matter.)
  • I’m very curious about other individuals mostly in that I wish I could know what it’s like to be them, compared to myself that I am now. Like, I wish I knew what a “neutral” state of consciousness was, and how similar people really are to me inside, etc.
  • I generally don’t feel psychicly linked to others (with a few possible exceptions). But I do highly relate to what they say about Fi leads’ ability to ‘hear what is not being said’, i.e. to listen to someone and be able to fill in when they are thinking something but decide to leave it out, based on the circumstances and their motives and feelings about them. This is primarily how my “bullshit detector” works, by sensing people’s hidden motives and hearing cues in their voice (tone, pitch, cadence, word choice, etc.) when they say and don’t say certain things in certain situations. How well it works for me, though is highly dependent on what kind of situation it is vis-à-vis my previous experiences I have in Fi and their intensities. Sometimes, I can gauge how emotionally healthy people are, like Alice said.

I have my own set of values, standards and things that I think are important in life that may or may not echo society’s values. For example, I do not value marriage, or organised religion. I will not get a mortgage or have children simply because that’s the expected path for adulthood as defined by society. I will respect your right to follow any of these paths, but I won’t do something just because that’s the “done” thing or the “expected” thing. I hope for the same tolerance and understanding from others in return. My favourite saying is, “you do you”. I have a lot of patience and acceptance for people just trying to be themselves. I feel more tolerant than average to alternate lifestyles, gender-orientations, sexual-orientations, fringe-groups and alternative forms of self-expression. As long as you’re not hurting anyone in the process, I don’t care.

This I totally agree with. Only thing is, “you do you” sounds like it might come across as dismissive or condescending, so I might say more like “to each, his own” or “live and let live.”

 

And (quoting from Alice:)

Fi is constantly accruing data for a compass process to always point towards self-actualization maybe? Or something similar?

I do feel like, at the end of the day, that is the case for me. Or maybe towards the virtues to aspire to, living the best life, understanding life, or something like that.

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