- Type: NeTi
- Development: ll-l
- Attitude: Adaptive
I got my development through delving deep into emotional/self-hate problems and therefore I have to keep that realm “free” of emotional blockages otherwise back I go to “compressing” my consciousness. I wonder what other people who have IIII development have to say about this and whether they experience the same thing
Hmm, I have given some thought to this, though not in the terms of compressed and uncompressed consciousness (still hoping for further clarification from The Aubs on those terms *fingers crossed/livestock sacrificed*) . And also yours (@scientiam) is quite an interesting case, and could well turn out to be an outlier in terms of a personal development pathway, as you “unblocked” both of your E functions at the same time. I started from a native E, then developed both introverted functions. And, as was the case for you as well, I also needed to process “emotional/self-hate problems” before I could access Fe in a controlled manner. I did notice that after the “high” of the breakthrough wore off, that my energy did return to a state that felt quite similar to my prior configuration, but that Fe could be accessed whenever there was a want/need for it, which would seem to be an echo of what Faeruss has said above.
As I’m sure you’re well aware, personal growth and development doesn’t stop when we have four little sticks next to our forum names, it continues each and every day; processing/integrating our life experiences only ends when we die. Perhaps because Fe was my last function to develop, I did notice (~a month ago) that when I started to allow myself to stagnate, when I wasn’t holding myself accountable for who I wanted to be and the steps I needed to take each day to get there, that Fe was the first function to “fall by the wayside”, and yet even then it was accessible. I think it is a natural thing to fear losing something (especially when it has only recently been gained), and perhaps because both of your extroverted functions came at the same time this is especially poignant for you. I think it is only natural that your configuration begins shifting back towards the double introversion, as that was the configuration your psyche has had more time/experience with.
I have no experiences I could use as evidence for having lost conscious use of a function already gained, but I can say that personal stagnation will likely make anyone feel as if something is being lost: what is lost in such a case is the potential we know we possess, but do not manifest. In terms of needing to keep emotional channels free to maintain conscious Fe, that may be a pattern that we continue to see, particularly with non-lead Fe, or Ti>Fe users, but it’s hard to say at this point (my hunch would be that that is a dynamic that will continue cropping up). However, I do very much relate to the dynamic, and it certainly seems possible to me that, if I began cutting off my emotions as I have done before, I could return to a point where Fe would not be visible in my vultology. It is my choice whether or not I allow that to happen.
I suppose that what I would say is that it is complacency that has to be fought in order to continue development, in any form or domain. Complacency tells us, “Eh, that was enough.” The drive to become more than what we currently are or have been tells us, “I can do more. I will do more.” I think that as long as you stay mindful of the emotional problems that arise from the past and the present, and continue to be willing to work through them, that nothing of value can be taken from you. That which is earned in the Self is kept, but earning is a matter for today, not yesterday or tomorrow.